Just in a recent years I was thrown into the situation, in which I realized that person so close to me did not care too much about anything.  It was very strange to accept the process of discovering this fact. Call it being blind, naive or just ignorant, but this was the situation I was wrapped up in for years. Seeing and accepting something that is hurtful is a process just like any other.  Initial feelings I faced were sadness but hope, disappointment but not ready to give up, and finally the realization of not being able to change people kicks in. Family to take care of every day and every moment is not just something. It is everything you have. And only one thing I can say about this; is it’s not about having time for family, it is about making it.

One human characteristic can be very problematic, and in the way of doing all that one shall do for the family.  That characteristic is not always recognizable at first site. This characteristic is selfishness! The best way to describe it is; when you cannot think of anyone else and their needs, but yours. It takes time to discover this and the depth of it.  Dealing with this human characteristic is hard and you have to learn how to love yourself not to be defeated by the selfishness of another person.  Also another important fact to remember is: 

“The most miserable people are those who only care about themselves, understand only their own troubles and see only their own perspective.”

 Despite all the other issues during all this time, I was trying to change this fact, tell myself otherwise instead of realizing what I am concluding today, and it’s the following…… you need to take your life in control.  Yes, we go through the process of denying, seeing, accepting, but then we have to make choices. And those choices aren’t always comfortable. 

 My favorite poet Maya Angelou said, “If you find it in your heart to care for someone else, you will have succeeded.''

This statement gave me clarity and strength!!!!  And I couldn't agree more!

Our strength grows out of struggles we overcame. When trees were cleared to grow crops, a few oak trees would be left standing in the open fields where they were exposed to the red hot sun, severe winds and all of the forces of the elements. The trees which strained against nature, ended up being far stronger and much tougher than protected oak trees which were growing deep in the forest.

It was the timber from these trees, the ones which struggled and won against nature, which were used to make wagon wheels which were then bent into arc-shaped segments . . . with the knowledge, they would not break. Because these trees had struggled against all odds, they had grown strong enough to bear the heaviest loads.

When we as a human struggle in a similar way, against all odds, your human spirit is toughened. Some people will try and go through life by following the path of least resistance, wanting to be protected along the way.

I choose to think that without the strength of character which you gain from struggle, you could be tempted to flow through your life with very little purpose or any real plans. Once you can understand the broad purpose of life, you can then become reconciled to the circumstances which force you to struggle in the first place.

As a result, you then accept your struggles for what they truly are . . . your golden opportunities for a successful life.

Be honest with yourself, become as transparent as crystal clear water and you will soon find your struggles turning into one success after the other.  Most importantly, be truthful to yourself.  

 I have to quote poet Maya Angelou again, as she left a lot of wisdom behind “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them”.  

“I not only have the right to stand up for myself, but I have the responsibility. I   can’t ask somebody else to stand up for me if I won’t stand up for myself. And once you stand up for yourself, you’d be surprised that people say, “Can I be of   help?”

Love to all!  Anela